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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995907">An Early Memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeBookmark/pseuds/CreativeBookmark'>CreativeBookmark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Characters Watching Disney Movies, Childhood, F/M, Fluff, Foster Care, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV Emma, POV Emma Swan, Peter Pan References, Young Emma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:47:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeBookmark/pseuds/CreativeBookmark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Emma found herself in love, unconventionally, with the villain in the movie Peter Pan. One-shot. Based on my thoughts of Emma's impressions of Pan, and especially Killian. Foster care to present day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Captain Hook | Killian Jones &amp; Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>An Early Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One of Emma's earliest memories was when she was very young; maybe four or five years old.</p><p>What had begun as a terrible night had soon turned into an unforgettable memory. Emma had been sitting in the living room of her social worker for the past few hours. She had been silent; she had been shivering, and she did not quite know what was going on. She could hear the social worker yelling on the phone in the kitchen nearby, and based on the fact that the woman had been on the phone since Emma had arrived at her house, she did not appear to be anywhere near finished with her conversation.</p><p>Years later, Emma would learn that the woman had been trying relentlessly for hours to place Emma in a suitable foster home nearby, and that her frustration stemmed from the fact that she received the same response from everyone she seemed fit: that they were too full. The woman had given up simply "hoping for the best," because the last time she did that, Emma had ended up in her living room at two in the morning. She was just grateful that the girl would be too young to remember the smashed beer bottles and abusive screaming that had caused the neighbors to call the police on her former foster parents.</p><p>However much the woman wanted to take Emma in, she knew that it went against protocol. She had grown rather fond of Emma, having been her social worker since she was given back by the Swan's at the age of one. But to take in one of her "clients," was unprofessional, not to mention impractical, given that she herself had a one-bedroom apartment in a part of town that wasn't exactly known for its prestige. And so she would have to be content with matching up Emma with a great foster home, who would maybe adopt her despite her growing age.</p><p>At the moment, Emma herself was terribly fatigued, but could not force herself to fall asleep. Maybe it was the fact that every time she slept something horrible seemed to happen. After all, the last time she had fallen asleep and gotten comfortable, she had woken up to a policeman standing over her, herding her into a cop car.</p><p>Finally, the social worker ended her phone call and walked into the living room. She was shocked to see Emma wide awake on the sofa.</p><p>"Emma?" she asked, while sitting next to her on the couch. "What are you doing still up? It's 2:45 in the morning, baby."</p><p>"Can't sleep. Bad things happen," Emma responded quietly, while yawning.</p><p>The older woman's heart nearly broke.</p><p>Emma wasn't even of schooling age yet; she shouldn't have any memories that would weigh her down to make her feel twenty years older than she actually was. She should be enjoying her childhood.</p><p>"Are you sure you cannot sleep?"</p><p>"Why? My next foster home is coming soon, right?"</p><p>Emma let out another yawn. The older woman sighed and sat down next to the young girl. "Emma, you know I would love to have you. But I'm always out and working, and this isn't the best home for you, baby. But I promise- no more foster homes until I can leave you with someone I love. Okay?"</p><p>Emma wasn't quite sure about whether or not to believe her. She was too young to understand that people could have her best interests at heart, despite the fact that circumstances sometimes prevented them from showing it. All she understood at that moment was that the woman sitting in front of her placed her in bad home after bad home, and that every time she got out of one, it was only a moment before she was relocated back into one.</p><p>Once again, the social worker regarded Emma with a dejected look on her face. She glanced away for a second, and then thought that if the girl was not going to go to sleep, she might as well do something fun until she had to be sent away again. The woman knew that her next options wouldn't be ideal, and that it would be a while before a wonderful fit would pop up.</p><p>The problem was, she didn't have anything to entertain a child with. Unless…</p><p>"How about watching some T.V, Emma?" The woman got up from her seat, and pushed on the television button. Immediately, a familiar logo with a castle popped up, accompanied with fanfare that was all too nostalgic for the older woman.</p><p>She glanced over at Emma, and was pleased to see that the young girl was intrigued.</p><p>"What is this?" the little girl asked.</p><p>"I don't know, honey. Let's see."</p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Soon, Emma learned that the movie had been Peter Pan. Her social worker had gotten tired soon after the movie began playing, and had went to bed, hoping that Emma would stay preoccupied long enough for her to at least get a few more hours of sleep.</p><p>Needless to say, Emma had quickly become mesmerized with the story. None of her foster homes had allowed her to watch any films; either because they did not own a television or because they did not want her using it.</p><p>So Emma had sat awake, rapt with attention on the story about Peter Pan, Lost Boys, Captain Hook, Tinker Bell, and Wendy. She found herself falling in love with the magic, and the happy childhood of the Darling children was more of a dream to Emma than Neverland was.</p><p>But there was one unsettling idea about Peter Pan, and that was Pan himself.</p><p>After Emma's difficult childhood, she could not fathom why someone would never want to grow up. Her own childhood had been full of abuse, instability, and resentment. She had never had proper friends, even imaginary friends, and she had no mother or father to hold her after she awoke from a nightmare. She had never had anyone to take care of her when she was sick, and she never had anyone play with her when she was bored. Even when Wendy offered him a true home and a true family and love, he adamantly rejected it.</p><p>Instead, Emma had been repeatedly told by her social worker that she only had "fourteen more years, thirteen more years," until she could finally be free of any foster parents and homes that did not care about her well-being. All she understood at that young age was that she was only in the system because she was not yet an adult, and would not be one for a very long time.</p><p>So Emma shivered at the thought of Peter Pan, a boy who simply did not want to grow up and move on with his life. She thought that the movie must be hiding something about him, for no normal person wouldn't want to be an independent grown-up.</p><p>Yes, Emma did not trust Peter Pan. She found herself sympathizing with Tinker Bell, poor Tinker Bell; who was just so desperate to cling onto her only friend. If Emma had a best friend, she was sure that she would be afraid of losing them, too. The last thing she could imagine handling was the loss of someone close to her. So Emma did her best to not let anyone close to her. At first, she was a bit annoyed with the Darling children; they were being quite impractical. Why would anyone dream of leaving a nice, comfortable childhood, with loving parents and siblings, to be with someone like Peter Pan?</p><p>Later, however, she understood their feelings a little better when she learned that dreaming about Peter Pan would cause Peter Pan himself to show up at their nursery. Despite her grievances against him, she knew that it would be amazing to be able to do what Peter gave them the ability to do, and that was fly. Although Emma still believed that they were doing it for all the wrong reasons - leaving behind a family; she still could not imagine why anyone would want that - she herself dreamed of being able to fly. Flying far away from her current life, Emma knew, was too good to be true, but if she were ever given the chance, she would snatch it in a heartbeat.</p><p>Plus, they felt homesick in the end. That was something Emma could give them proper credit for.</p><p>Lastly, though, Emma found herself captivated by Captain Hook. Despite being the "villain" in the film, Emma quickly learned by herself the honestly behind the old expression, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Her dislike of Peter Pan heightened as she watch him humiliate the captain in their fight. Emma saw Captain Hook as a man determined to find his crocodile, and she admired that he was so persistent in doing so. It was then that Emma learned to just keep fighting. She learned that if she tried her hardest to get rid of the bad guys, they just might go away and she could have a peaceful life.</p><p>She loved the film, but the ending fell a bit short. Even the Lost Boys did not want parents in the end? She found herself not approvingly of them, too. Hook being defeated?</p><p>Somehow, Emma felt that if he were real, he would never go down that easily. She was interrupted by a voice.</p><p>"Emma," it called. "Did you finish the movie?"</p><p>Emma looked over at the clock. 5:00 in the morning. "Yes," she replied.</p><p>"Did you like it, baby?"</p><p>Emma reflected on all of her thoughts. She thought about what the movie had taught her, about who to trust and how to live.</p><p>"Yes. Yes I did."</p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Back in Storybrooke, thirty-year old Emma Swan sat in the living area of her parents' loft with a steaming cup of hot cocoa. It was still relatively early in the morning, and she did not have to report to work at the station until later that afternoon. David had left a few moments earlier, and Mary Margaret had taken Neal for a walk in his stroller. Henry was still fast asleep upstairs.</p><p>Emma switched on the television and flipped through the channels. As she was absentmindedly flipping, she found herself suddenly halt as she heard a familiar tune of a fanfare. When she glanced up, she witnessed, to her unexpected delight, a castle on the screen.</p><p>She remembered that night from many years ago. Since then, Emma had gotten her hands on any animated film she could, with some difficulty. She snuck downstairs sometimes in the foster homes that had and tried to find movies that would play. She stole DVDs from the library and hoped that her next home would have a player. Sometimes, she cried until her foster parents caught on and realized that the only way to get her to be quiet again was to play one of those movies.</p><p><em>I wonder which one this is</em>…, thought Emma to herself. When she saw the beginnings of Peter Pan, Emma grinned, not believing her luck. Her favorite! She snuggled into the couch with her blanket and cocoa and began to watch the film, reminiscing about her thoughts the first time she watched this.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah. Pan was a creep. Though life didn't exactly agree with him when he grew up, so…</em>
</p><p>Emma laughed the first time Captain Hook came on the screen. <em>Oh, how right I was about him. Definitely some admirable qualities there.</em> <em>Although not all of them are exactly what my three or four year old self would have pictured.</em></p><p>Blushing with her thoughts, Emma turned her attention back to the movie. She quickly zoned out the world around her while watching it, until she heard the door opening on front of her.</p><p>"Swan?" the voice called. "Are you here?"</p><p>Emma turned to the clock. 9:17. <em>I still have some more time before I have to leave… what is Killian doing here?</em></p><p>"What is this, love?" As Emma had been checking the time, Killian had been moving into the area where she sat and was now regarding the television screen with interest. "Hey, that man has a hook on his hand as well."</p><p>Emma really did laugh this time. "Well, he should, considering that he's 'Captain Hook.'" The look on Killian's face caused her to laugh even harder. "B-but… He's so… Look at his face! I can't…"</p><p>He looked so disappointed, and Emma felt a very small amount of pity. "Swan, why would you willingly watch this version of me?"</p><p>"To remind myself to trust my gut," she answered, chin up and smiling. At his confused look, she responded. She explained to him the story of herself at a very young age, watching Peter Pan for the first time. She told him of her initial dislike of Peter Pan, at which he gave a small laugh and grumbled "Bloody good instinct, Swan," under his breathe. She told him about how she couldn't understand the need to go to Neverland, about how she, on some level, understood Tinker Bell. And lastly, she told him about her admiration of Captain Hook. Because even though he was a villain, there was something about him that she couldn't help but love. Even when all of the other kids told her that she was crazy, Hook was a villain, and that if she liked him she must be a villain too, Emma never stopped believing in him.</p><p>There was a silence for a few moment. Then, "… I'm touched, Swan. Really."</p><p>He said it so quietly, so sincerely, that all Emma wanted to do in that moment was kiss him. She knew she had been right. All of those other kids didn't know what they were talking about, because they didn't have him, right next to her. He was here, he was real, and he loved her. And she loved him.</p><p>Before she could lean in, however, Henry bounded down the stairs, running his hands through his hair while drowsily asking "Mom? What's for breakfast?"</p><p>Emma chuckled, while Killian gave a light groan. "I don't know, kiddo," she responded. "Let's see."</p><p><em>Yep</em>, she thought. <em>Definitely my favorite movie.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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